“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”. (Niebuhr, R. 2016).
People need to understand that just because someone does not see your opinion or belief’s clearly, they are not on board with your concept of ideas. Each person has their own way of processing information. They see the world in a completely different way as to what you see it. There are many barriers in our daily lives that prevent us from seeing the bigger picture.
Five barriers from the authors’ perspective which prevents us from seeing the bigger picture,
- Innovation
- Commitment
- Upbringing
- Religion
- Family
Innovation
If we do not start doing things differently we become stagnant in our ways and we become comfortable with the way life is. We start relying on the fact that we are secure and if we step out of our comfort zone we might get hurt. We need to find new things to do that inspire us and keep us and our families motivated.
We tend to go through the normal daily practices of waking up, getting ready for work, and taking kids to school. One parent will drop the children off and the other will pick them up. We confirm what we are having for dinner and get the kids ready for bed after homework is done. How about we step out of this programmed life just once and see if we cannot do things that will make our lives more interesting.
How about we wake the kids ten minutes earlier for school so they can help with their lunch packs in the morning? This will teach them a sense of responsibility and what it is to look after one’s self. How about weekly we change the roles of who is dropping the children off and who picks them up? Why just have dinner on a Monday evening when we can have a family picnic in the lounge and really bond.
There can be various ways in which we can be innovative in our families. We just need to find the things that we are not doing and seeing if they add value to our relationships.
Commitment
We all have various commitments in our lives like family, work, sporting activities, etc. We need to understand that the same commitment we show to one aspect in our lives cannot be the same for the other. Commitment comes with balance and sacrifice. We need to know when and where it is time to do something.
We spend so many hours away from home at a place called work that it becomes your home away from home. We tend to get trapped in our work most of the time that some of us end up working around the clock and ignoring the other important things around us. The same can be said about our sporting activities. If you Golf every weekend and spend hours away from your other priorities it becomes neglect.
We need to start finding balance in our lives. Yes, it may sound as if we need to become programmed like robots and do things according to a schedule. There are not enough hours in a day we say but I say we need to do more with the hours we have been given.
Upbringing
We have all been brought up in different ways with a different value system. This value system and upbringing is what drives our culture and view on how life should be. This can also be a barrier in our personal lives as well as our work life. We always tend to disagree and argue or our moral compass is not on the same track.
If two people are married they need to start adapting to the new part of their lives. If one of these individuals were spoilt as a child they would expect the same treatment from their partner or spouse. If you as a partner have spoilt your better half by constantly doing things for them, eventually they become so use to it that if you do not do it any longer they start fighting with you.
We are all still growing as people and we need to understand that nobody is perfect. There will always be arguments and fighting but we need to take a moment and understand how this individual was raised and what they are used to. This might help you appreciate this person’s value even more.
Religion
Religion plays a large role in our lives and our belief systems. If you were raised to honor a woman and respect her, which is exactly what to do as it is stated in the Bible. However, we need to understand that people also have various views on religion. You may wonder how someone is so spiritual or religious yet they do not attend church every Sunday. You may wonder how someone can know so much about what is in the Bible and yet they do not have someone preaching to them.
It is a personal choice one makes to fill one’s spiritual needs. People think that you need a Pastor to tell you what to believe in or how to pray. No, you do not. All you need to do is read the Bible yourself to understand the message of God. Many people say you can never read the Bible from cover to cover. If you enjoy reading and can read novel after novel, what is stopping you from reading the Bible.
Religion can change the way you and your family grow. This can also give a person a more sensitive view on life and really reflect deeply on changes around them.
Family
Family is probably the biggest barrier you can have. Many people have supportive families who want to see you succeed in life. Others do not have this luxury and need to work hard to convince their family that the plan or idea can work. Family can be a barrier in a way that while you are trying to move forward with your life, they want to dictate to you what to do.
Take a married couple for example. If the one half is constantly being influenced by their family they might end up destroying the marriage. The reason for this is that they were made to believe that their family is right and have always been right. They do not take the time to understand their partner or what their partner really wants. They believe that if they show dominance they will always win the battle. Wrong, these are the people who get hurt the most as their partners either do not care anymore or dispel of them completely.
There are many aspects in our family that can add value in our lives. It is up to us to choose how we use this information and apply it in our lives.